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Athalia Card Masters is a non-serious entertainment fanfiction created by NarayanK, in which characters from Athalia Academy are Yu-Gi-Oh-style card duelists. The first (and so far only) installment is called Athalia Card Masters: GX Edition and features twenty-one characters. It was written and completed on June 29th, 2016, on a fresh Etherpad called "NK Workshop MLG Edition".

Athalia Card Masters: GX Edition (what does GX stand for again)

"Welcome to the Athalia Card tournament, where card masters all gather to duke it out! I'm not going to explain much because at this point, ALL of you know how this is going to go."

Indeed.

The year was 20XX. All battles were fought with frame-perfect timings, and it was practically impossible for anyone to actually die now. Although Criston and Crash were constantly debated upon for top tier husbando, the top tier waifus were set in stone, and all of Hell's officers and Marcus' forces just lost the will to win the war. To make for this, they resolved a new way to settle their conflicts.

The Athalia Card Masters tournament. Because why not.

"Featuring the large team of Hell on the left side!" The announcer screamed in a modern coliseum-esque area over the loud cheers of a massive audience. "Apophis! Macbeth! Thane! Idolon! And most importantly, their leader... Lucifer!"

All the demons cheered for the five, both women and men crying out like fangirls and fanboys. Pace headbanged against the rail in front of him as Kain slept on Reggie, who was knocked out by something before the tournament even began. They were all cheering, so it made no sense as to why Reggie would be the one knocked out.

But in Athalia Card Masters, everything made sense- even if nobody wanted it to.

"And on the right side is the pretty small team of Athalia!" The announcer cried out as he pointed at the other side. "See for yourselves!"

And the small team of Athalia showed up. Maria, Brako, Criston, Ryuu, Lily, Carmen, Oliver, Andromeda, Edric, Katherine, Crash, Aurelia and even Irene popped up.

"Wait, what the fuck," Thane seethed. "Why is it so big?"

"Le lenny face."

The ninja glared at Apophis in the angriest manner ever. But indeed, the "small" team of Athalia was consisted of way past ten people. That was like... way more than nine.

"We can beat them," Lucifer said calmly, "if they give up."

"Doesn't that mean we can't beat them if they don't?"

"Yes."

Thane screamed and stormed off, making the team of hell now four instead of five.

"I'm going to give that man a lower pay," Lucifer muttered. Apophis' ears perked as he whispered about getting a raise or something.

Meanwhile, Macbeth and Idolon were trading ultimate strategies in beating the Athalians. They said...

...nothing.

The team of hell seemed prepared.

On the other side of the coliseum, everyone was in the mood for chatting. As they spoke, Ryuu noticed Irene as he asked Maria, "Wait, who is that person supposed to be, anyway?"

Maria laughed lightheartedly as she told him,

"A minor character."

"Maria, that's not nice," Irene said in a way that made her look emotionless... because she really just said that to look human.

"...Well, whatever," Ryuu muttered as he suddenly approached Kathy and Crash as he screamed, "NOW KISS!"

Nobody gave a shit so the tournament organizers started the tournament.

The rules were simple. Even simpler than something like Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh, in fact. Throw in a card whenever it was your turn, and attempt to delete the opposing side's total health. Hell had 666 HP, and Athalia had 999.

It was as if they were made to match each other.

"I'll go first," Apophis said as he stepped arrogantly, despite Lucifer telling him to go last. "I summon MACHETE!"

Throwing a card down at the center of the coliseum, Machete showed up with the angriest frown on his face. "You fucked with the wrong Mexican," he growled as he glared at the Athalians.

"Well, that can't be good," Crash muttered. "In that case, somebody here is gonna have to throw out something equally strong. Or maybe something stronger. What are Machete's stats, anyway?"

They all took a good look at his stats. He had 69 HP but 9999 damage. If he hit them, they were legitimately going to get rekt.

So they decided to bring out something equally powerful.

"GO, DEFENDER OF SONIC SPEED!" Ryuu screamed dramatically as he threw out his only useful card. "I SUMMON SANIC!"

sanic de hegehog spawned in the coliseum, facing off against Machete in a stare-off. sanic's stats were 9999 fast and 0 slow.

"That's so fucking overpowered," Thane said after returning from his momentary rage quit. Macbeth shrugged. He saw worse.

Machete tried to hit sanic, but sanic was literally too fast. He bodyslammed Machete, causing the wrong Mexican to explode into a burst of bright particles.

"Machete died," Apophis stated flatly. "Wasn't he our best card?"

"No, he's not," Lucifer answered as he rolled his neck. "And we have a way to counter that monstrosity. Idolon, you're up."

Walking up to the center of the coliseum, Idolon put a card down as he summoned Idolon number 2.

"WAIT A SECOND, ISN'T THAT JUST IDOLON?!" Ryuu screamed. "THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY-"

Then again, everything made sense in Athalia Card Masters. Idolon tried to stop sanic, and he managed to do something.

He gave sanic 1 slow.

"nuuUuUUuuu" sanic screamed momentarily before his stats immediately reverted back to normal.

"Goddammit, it did nothing," Thane growled. They watched sanic go too fast and slam into Idolon, but thankfully, Idolon had 1 more HP left.

But sanic was so fast he attacked again. Idolon sighed as he watched his clone just explode. Macbeth decided to step his game up and properly counter sanic.

He summoned shedew.

"OW THE EDGE" shedew screamed as he jumped into sanic, causing both of them to explode and vanish.

"." Macbeth cheered.

The Athalians grit their teeth and sighed and moaned and everything. sanic was one of their best cards, and it just got eliminated by an equally stupid card. Without a doubt, they just lost one of their most valuable assets.

Unfortunately, Lily decided to be a gigantic annoyance like she was to Hell in the IC as she put down a spell card. "Revive," it said.

So sanic came back.

"Are these guys betting everything on sanic?" Lucifer asked his officers.

All of them shrugged, but the answer was probably "yes."

"Let's summon a clock," Apophis suggested. "Thane, throw in a clock."

"K."

The ninja used a spell card specifically titled "A Clock." Its job was to show people the time.

sanic realized he could have been faster than he was and exploded.

"SANIC NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Athalians all cried. Except Irene because she didn't have any cards, and Aurelia because she was being a little wuss again.

"I'll avenge you sanic!" Oliver shouted. "Go! I choose you, Jason Voorhees!"

Jason fell on his head and roared in anger. His stats went from 99 HP and 99 attack to 6969 HP and 1337 attack.

"The planet of the apes wants you dead," Apophis cackled. "GO! CAESAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!"

Apophis summoned Caesar. As soon as he spawned, Caesar screamed "HUMANSSSSS! APEESSSSSSSS! AUHRUIGHRUGHRUGHRUGH!!!!" Clearly an intelligent individual.

Unfortunately for Jason, who could've beaten Caesar without anything, Caesar had a special ability. When he sensed danger, Caesar used the plot to clutch it out and survive for a bit longer. The monkey dodged Jason's attack and drop kicked the nightmare in the face, eliminating the murderer.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!"

"D-Dammit, they're strong," Criston muttered. But his concerns turned into confusion as Maria stepped up. "Mom? What're you-"

"I summon Totem," she said confidently.

And thus, Totem spawned in the coliseum. Brako tensed at the thing's presence. As soon as Caesar charged forward to attack Totem, everyone blacked out for a split moment, and they all found Caesar lying on the ground, promptly exploding into a burst of light.

"They brought out another trump card," Lucifer nodded as he prepared his own card. "Time to step it up. I summon Hyper-Ultra-Mega-Death-Fire Physics Problem At The Last Page Of A Test!"

Totem fucking exploded.

The Hyper-Ultra-Mega-Death-Fire Physics Problem At The Last Page Of A Test also blew up because its purpose was served.

Carmen stylishly threw out her sun hat into the coliseum, only to have Megatron spawn underneath it. Wearing her sunhat, Megatron screamed something about getting a cube before promptly getting in a fight with Thane's summon, Ganondorf.

"GIBE ME THE CUBE-"

"WHY IS IT ALWAYS US-"

The two killed each other efficiently.

"Well, so much for giant armored robots," Lily commented. Carmen grinned as she whispered to the pink-haired Brightendale, "And that is why I'm better in more than one way."

Lily bonked the Skylark's head.

"WELL SCREW THAT, EAT THIS!" Apophis screamed as he threw out a trap card. "THIS IS A TRAP!"

Kathy destroyed the trap with a spell card.

"...Oh."

"."

Lucifer decided to just go all-in and throw in his best spell card. "Summon everything," he muttered. Neo Anderson, a BiC pencil, and Kool-Aid Mofo popped up in the coliseum, ready to delete the Athalian team's health.

Andromeda blinked. "Is... there anything we can do about that?"

They all turned to Irene, who bonked her own head with a cheeky tongue sticking out of her shut lips. Then they turned to Aurelia.

Oh right, Aurelia existed.

"What do you have?" Ryuu asked.

She remained quiet. They decided they were screwed. As they began to prepare some clutch strategies on using their well-known last resort card, "Mr. Football," Aurelia handed Irene a card.

"...Hm?" The mature(???)woman took the card from Aurelia as she gave it a good look. "You want me to use this?"

The girl nodded.

"K, then."

Irene tossed out a spell card into the coliseum. The card was labeled "Delet dis."

Suddenly, Neo, BiC, and Kool-Aid Mofo blipped out of existence.

"WHAT THE- IRENE, YOU'RE A LIFE SAVER!"

"WOW, GOOD JOB!"

"8/8, GR8 B8 M8 I DIDN'T SEE IT COMING!"

"MVP!"

"Uh..."

Irene turned to Aurelia, who gave her a thumbs-up.

Irene mimicked Aurelia with an idle expression as she proclaimed,

"yE."

Meanwhile, Apophis asked, "Are we fucked now?"

Brako summoned an animated water bottle that did 1 damage. That meant it would have to attack them 666 times to defeat Hell.

Lucifer took a deep breath before nodding.

"We're fucked."

Hell was destroyed by a water bottle. Meanwhile, Irene gained a cult following of clutch game-winning dark horses, and Maria sought out to make Athalia Card Masters a bigger thing.

-.-.-.-.-

"So how do you like that?" Apophis asked Ganondorf and Mark Noxus, who sat in front of a projector screen. "Seems legit, right?"

The King of Evil and the cowboy simply stared at the screen for a few good seconds before stating simultaneously,

"wat"

-.-.-.-.-

the end

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